written by Vicki F. Duffy

• Have you ever had something on your mind that you need to just 'let out' or 'vent' so that you can think clearly?
• Have you ever gone to a person talking about your situation and then before you can even finish your thought they begin giving you every aspect of advice that you didn't even ask for?
• Then they say "If I were you, I would...."

Actually, I have said this, with the best intentions in mind and there are endless times that I have heard that statement, either to me or being said to someone I know.I have found that people are trying to be helpful, but in reality by them saying If I were you, it is not helping the person see all the possible options to that situation.

They are just hearing what that person thinks you should do if you were them!

Even those with the best of intentions must realize that person is not us and we are not them. We can not live other people's lives for them or through them. People will make mistakes trip up and get themselves in difficult situations. Your friend, daughter, son, boyfriend, husband, wife, etc. will make mistakes. The good thing about making a mistake is that they will learn from what they went through. When that person comes to you, you can be a shoulder for them to lean on and hopefully that person will learn a lesson through the mistake.Be there for the person and listen, really listen, because not everyone is ready to hear about what you would do if you were them.

If I Were You...giving & receiving advice